Friday, October 20, 2006

Newsflash: OJ Did It

If we could create world peace, the final act of violence the world should definitely perform is the classic junior high "Dude, I'll hold his legs, you kick him in the nuts" routine on OJ Simpson. ...."Okay, now I'll kick him".
O.J. Simpson to confess — hypothetically

By Jeannette Walls
MSNBC
Updated: 6:34 p.m. PT Oct 19, 2006
O.J. Simpson is confessing. Hypothetically, that is.

The former football great, who was acquitted in criminal court 11 years ago of killing his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ron Goldman, reportedly has been paid a whopping $3.5 million to write about the double murder that shocked and riveted the nation in 1994, according to a detailed report in the new National Enquirer.

But Simpson is not actually confessing to the murder — rather, he’s writing a “hypothetical” book — which the Enquirer reports is tentatively being called “If I Did It”....

...He goes on, according to the article, to describe in gruesome detail the killing of his ex-wife and Goldman; he stipulates that the murder scenes are “hypothetical.” But, notes the tab, the descriptions are “so detailed and so chillingly realistic” that readers are left with little doubt as to what really happened.

What a chauch. If there's an afterlife, he is so going to the newly added "10th Circle of Hell: OJ-land!" It's ova, Jehovah!
Pumpin on my chest and I'm screamin
I stop breathin, damn I see deamons
--Snoop

OJ doesn't deserve it, but "Murder Was The Case" is totally appropriate right about now. This, coincidently, is probably Snoop's finest work. Ever. Lyrical content, the classic story of the Crossroads in a ghetto setting...this song is a keeper.

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