First you get da golf ballsIt seems the media really did miss Jean: After a year of quoteless leadership from Martin, they took Chretien into their collective bosom with open arms. Lame.
Then you ridicule da judge
Then you get da media
"He was amazing, and fun, and charismatic...He also likes long walks on the beach, but not in English Bay. Just look at his picture he sent me over the net! What a strongman!"
(additional transcript, Gomery Commission)
He's dreeeammy, isn't he girls?
Chretien: You see da thing abooouuut da golf balls is dat we were fighting da seperatists.
Scott: Were you throwing the golf balls at the seperatists, sir?
Chretien: No...well, sometimes. If I saw Lucien on da golf course, usually Carle n' Pelletier would 'old dim down, n' den me' n' Warren would pelt him with da PM balls, ya know whad I mean, dere? Plus....we needed to give da balls to Clinton...he gave us his balls one time....
Scott: Whoa, whoa. Why did you give him...um, your balls? Weren't they paid for by Canadians?...So to speak.
Chretien: Well, dere was da threat of seperation...heh.
Scott: In the US?
Chretien: ......... [Awkward silence. Sideways glances in the media gallery.]
Scott: Let's move on. How else did you fight seperatists?
Chretien: You don't understaannnnd. You see, da ting is...the referendum had almost been a blown deal....so we cooked up an excuse to account fer payin' back all our friends in Quebec...Groupaction and dos guys...plus dere was Corriveau, who was a good friend a mine....by da way, he's tight wit me, but I didn't know nuttin' about da monies he was owed...(Chretien smiles and winks at swooning media gallery)
Scott: That's enough, sir.
[Media, from gallery: He's so exciting!...(Soft cooing and moaning. Some laughing)]
Chretien: No, no, dis is too much fun. Da media's laughing n' will write a great article about me, and forget about da Beaudoin, da HRDC, da Gagliano, da squanderin', da corruption, and all dat...they won't even look to da transcipt...all dey will remember is 'da balls', and 'da golf'. Dey're all my ho's....(laughter).....you know I met da Jay-Z one time, in Quebec City?
1 comment:
Hi Pat,
very clever! the sad thing is, i could imagine such a dialogue actually taking place since he is sooo mocking and arrogant. it would be nice if they could have a big overhead of that attacking protesters picture projected on the wall during his trial. it's still not that cool to make fun of his accent though ;P. i admit that his 'french-canadian- grandpere" charm has made me think that he isn't so bad in spite of myself, but now i've lost what slender thread of respect i had for Jean.
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