High Five, My Tyrant Friend!

You're too enthusiastic male groupie bastard
Still tryin to convince us some more
Pretendin' your raw that's what you need a minister for
--Gangstarr

Alexandre Trudeau = Male Groupie Bastard. Here the lil' bastard praises Castro of all people, in the Star:

Indeed, like my father, in private, Fidel is not a politician. He is more in the vein of a great adventurer or a great scientific mind. Fidel doesn't really do politics. He is a revolutionary.

Oh god. This really says more about Alex than Castro. If you ever wondered what Anna Nicole Smith did for that old 88-year old billionaire oilman in private, Alexandre just did it to Castro on paper. *shiver*

Here's an interesting aside:

Cubans remain very proud of Castro, even those who don't share his vision.

"Those who knew him, loved him. Those who didn't know him, loved him from afar."

What he meant to say is "Cubans remain proud of Castro until they have both feet on American soil. At that point they pray non-stop for his demise." Maybe they just don't share his "vision".

But Castro's leadership can be something of a burden, too. [Cubans] do occasionally complain, often as an adolescent might complain about a too strict and demanding father. The Jefe (chief) sees all and knows all, they might say.

They complain until some Cuban Red Guard kicks their ass into next week, or in Alexspeak: "Father Castro would put them to sleep with his overwhelming ubermensch powers." Seriously, aren't we past the superman/big man theory of history? This is craziness. The Cubans are his children? Sheeeit, Castro and Davey Koresh might just have to trade notes in hell.

'Sides, we know that if Castro is Daddy, then daddy should be getting a beatdown by Children's Services:

Laura Pollan, a well-known human-rights activist, said it would be too risky for Cuba's tiny opposition to take to the streets demanding an end to the socialist system.

"They would put us in prison or kill us," said Pollan, who leads a group of mothers and wives seeking the release of political prisoners.

Pollan's husband, independent journalist Hector Maseda, is one of 75
opposition leaders jailed by authorities in 2003 in the most sweeping crackdown
in decades.

That's our crazy old dad! The second we speak out he kills one us kiddies!

But all that crap is nothing compared to this:

With the possible exception of Nelson Mandela, already well into retirement, Fidel is the last of the global patriarchs. Reason, revolution and virtue are becoming more and more distant and abstract concepts. We will perhaps never see another patriarch.

Here's a tip: never compare Fidel to Mandela. Better yet, never ever ever compare Mandela unfavourably to Fidel.

Fidel is not worthy of looking Mandela in the eyes. Fidel is the embodiment of the tyranny that drove Mandela to walk across the borders of South Africa armed to hilt for the South African resistance. Fidel is the White Afrikaaner that kept Mandela in jail for 30 years.

The big difference is that all South Africans, at home or abroad...screw that - the entire earth reveres Mandela as a king of kings. Fidel is a dirtbag masquerading as an egalitarian atop his pedestal of 100 million USD.

How could even compare the two?

You have done enough. Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?
--Joseph N. Welch, at the McCarthy Hearings